Wednesday, July 11, 2007

eBay pick of the day: Motorola F09LFD8458BG

Motorola F09LFD8458BG cell phone

It's no secret that I dislike cell phones. Nor is it much of a secret that I wish we lived in a world without them: cell phones make the sober act drunk, and make the drunk unbearable. Just walk around any major metropolitan city in the thick of the afternoon to see what I'm talking about: loud, obnoxious louts, halting traffic mid-sidewalk to punctuate their disbelief over some minor triviality in a "private" conversation with wild hand-wavings and strings of blue exclamations. One person after another like this, for miles. I don't want to sound like a soccer mom here or anything, but when did we all become such cretins?

While I understand wishing for a world without cell phones is like wishing for anything impossible, I do have a back-up dream: that our entertainment industry's infatuation with remakes and recent-event nostalgia will somehow re-introduce the giant portable phone into our popular culture. Something large and inconvenient, with a 2 hour battery life and AM radio reception. Something that you'd have either for emergency or status reasons, but not for casual chit-chat. And, more importantly, something that, if I had to watch people talk on cell phones and act like idiots all day, would at least make the whole experience amusing. There's nothing funny about a shoe store unless it's a shoe store that only sells clown shoes. Then it's hilarious!



Blogger rebecca said...

Peter Sp/hambler! You've brought back my love for you with this post. not that it was ever gone. but this is brilliant.

9:54 PM  

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